I am now fifty-six years-old. This is sobering as I still believe that I'm twenty-five. So what have I lost? Some physical flixibility, two wives to divorce, all of my black hair (replaced with cool gray - not the cueball!), some of my libido, some of my energy, some of my ability to focus and concentrate.
What I have gained is slowness. I walk slower so I can see more; I talk
less quickly so I am more apt to be a better listner, i work out more
slowly so I work out efficiently, i write slower so i need to edit less,
i work slower so i get to transfer more qi to my patients, i dance slower
so i get to spend more physical time being close to my woman feeling her
heat and smelling her perfume, i read slower, so i acquire more info;
i watch which is different form 'seeing'; seeing is passive, watching
is active. i watch myself mostly to see that i am happy with my moves
off and on the court, to be certain that i walk in all valleys and on
all hills with integrity - sometimes i don't but then i can see it
because i was watching and by watching i may do better next time. i have
closer friends becasue as time is short i only spend time with those i
love. i spend more time with male friends because those were the ones
with whom i shared the least intimacy. my arms remain open longer and
close more slowly so my heart is receiving more. i sit longer so therefore
i am being more instead of doing more and by doing less i am more and
therefore this is proof that indeed less is more.
So im thinking - youth does and age is - but one cannot be until one has
done so youth and aging are all perfectly natural inhalations and exhalations
of the dao. i am happy to have been able to do and to be able to do less
and be more and therefore be more and thus be able to do more. Hah! Amazing.