Slower...

I am now fifty-six years-old. This is sobering as I still believe that I'm twenty-five. So what have I lost? Some physical flixibility, two wives to divorce, all of my black hair (replaced with cool gray - not the cueball!), some of my libido, some of my energy, some of my ability to focus and concentrate.
What I have gained is slowness. I walk slower so I can see more; I talk less quickly so I am more apt to be a better listner, i work out more slowly so I work out efficiently, i write slower so i need to edit less, i work slower so i get to transfer more qi to my patients, i dance slower so i get to spend more physical time being close to my woman feeling her heat and smelling her perfume, i read slower, so i acquire more info; i watch which is different form 'seeing'; seeing is passive, watching is active. i watch myself mostly to see that i am happy with my moves off and on the court, to be certain that i walk in all valleys and on all hills with integrity - sometimes i don't but then i can see it because i was watching and by watching i may do better next time. i have closer friends becasue as time is short i only spend time with those i love. i spend more time with male friends because those were the ones with whom i shared the least intimacy. my arms remain open longer and close more slowly so my heart is receiving more. i sit longer so therefore i am being more instead of doing more and by doing less i am more and therefore this is proof that indeed less is more.
So im thinking - youth does and age is - but one cannot be until one has done so youth and aging are all perfectly natural inhalations and exhalations of the dao. i am happy to have been able to do and to be able to do less and be more and therefore be more and thus be able to do more. Hah! Amazing.